Who is Tobi? A trip inside the young designer's mind (Extensive memoir + Sneaker drop)
The young talent talks life and fashion
A fashion designers creations are often a direct result of their own experiences. The best designers find ways to tie their pain, triumphs and inspirations into works of art that we can all rock and admire. The NYC creative who goes by Tobi falls into this category. In the wake of his new kicks dropping, we connected to talk about his journey, and he narrated it for us every step of the way. We'll let him take it from here.
Journey of a designer by Tobi the adult
Before I go into the story of my journey, I just wanna say that telling this story isn’t easy. I’ve always had paranoia and trust issues my entire life, I never opened up to anyone fully, with the exception of my best friend Toure. I always kept a side of me to myself, and another side to the people around me, I had an alter-ego in a sense. Females have manipulated me, friends have used me and as a result it left me lonely, empty, and depressed. I always questioned my existence and what I could have done to avoid those negative experiences. My life can be defined through phases, I’m constantly evolving, getting to know myself more and becoming more aware of the world around me. I want to open up so you can understand my mind.
The Youngin Phase: (2011-2015)
"My life can be defined through phases, I’m constantly evolving, getting to know myself more"
*I went to school in Staten Island, New York which is my birthplace for some years, from Pre-k to 6th grade. I moved to New Jersey when I was 2, taking 50 minute drives from NJ to NY for school. Going to school in New York formed my identity, creativity and style. These were crucial years in my development as an individual. The name of my brand came from the waves hairstyle I used to rock in 6th grade. In the mid-part of this phase, nothing really significant occurred, but I did end up meeting people that would later affect my life in positive and negative ways. However in 2015, my Grand-Father died, which really destroyed me mentally for a time, the last time I saw him before he died was when I was 5. I didn’t many memories, but I still remember his voice. His death made me embrace death and living a good life, which brought clarity to me. Imagine seeing a loved one at a very tender age, then seeing them in a casket 10 years later. I still don’t have all the answers to all my questions. Many people have gone through this. I’m not saying I’m special. Or that you should feel bad for me. Everybody dies. I will die one day. I just want you to understand me.
The Waves Phase: (2016-2017)
"In 2016, I started my brand. I had the cliché experience of every new creative."
*Although this was the shortest phase of my journey, it was the most important time in my life by far. Out of my 18 years of existence, 2017 was the most momentous year of my life. In 2016, I started my brand. I had the cliché experience of every new creative. People doubting you, difficulty with executing your ideas, and getting people to support your vision. What made my experience very unique is my progression in a year. Within that year, I started doing photoshoots with different photographers, interviews with different magazines and just dropping fire clothes on fire clothes. A lot of this came with publicity, or what y’all know as clout lol. I was the same person before and after the clout, it never fazed me. I experienced so much hate, this is when people tried to use me, people still try to even now. I lost a lot of friends, fake friends came along and pressure from every aspect in my life was too intense. I got really sad from being lonely, and became extremely paranoid from people using me. The most common theme in my life is that I’ve always been a good person, extremely emotional and loving. But people would take advantage of that and wouldn’t reciprocate the same energy. I saw this pain in XXXtentacion, and knowing he went through the same stuff helped me get through this phase. The stress of making clothes destroyed my mental state.
The Inactive Phase (End of 2017-Mid 2018):
"This phase was the most relaxed phase out of all of them, but I felt empty because I couldn’t create."
I gave up. I wanted to be normal, I wanted to be a kid. Starting a business at the age 16 and dealing with an immense amount of emotional damage at a young age made me feel like I was going too fast. As my business progressed, things became more complicated and I lost the love I once had for creativity. This was my senior year of high school, so I wanted to focus on getting into a good college. I also picked up on track. During this time I still dealt with toxic people and situations, which made me a little bit more introverted. I stopped getting into beefs, and I thought more before I said or did something. This phase was the most relaxed phase out of all of them, but I felt empty because I couldn’t create. And what I mean by that is that I was active with creativity. I still did shoots. I still thought of ideas. But I couldn’t find the inspiration to make clothes again.
The Ressurection Phase (Summer 2018):
I woke up one summer morning and listened to Kanye’s new album Ye. The sound inspired me. Long story short, I dropped my summer collection a month later. I was back in the game and back for good.
The Enlightenment Phase (Now):
I stopped using my Instagram account that had a large following, and created a new one before I went to college. I did not want to experience being used for someone else’s gain. I wanted to enter in with a clean slate. I did not want that attachment of my former self. College is college though. I still got betrayed by people I considered close friends. Still got manipulated by females. I felt like my good character and willingness to go out of my way for others was my weakness. I felt like my presence wasn’t valued. I stopped going out, stopped affiliating with toxic people. I hated everyone. The hardest thing is that, there was no running away, there was no avoiding these people. I lived with these people.
"I did not want to experience being used for someone else’s gain. I wanted to enter in with a clean slate."
One day though, something bad happened to me. Something that was supposed to damage me even further. But oddly, it made me happy. I came to the realization that all the times I’ve been hurt, used, left alone in the dark was meant to be. It made me stronger, it made me not depend on others for my happiness. Good or bad, whatever happens to me is part of my journey, and that it will lead me to fulfilling my purpose. I don’t think I can feel hurt anymore, I’m emotionless. I’ve been hurt way too many times, I’m numb to the feeling. I also realized that I can’t hold back the good person I can be because of paranoia or the fear of getting hurt again. That’s made me as open as I am right now. I want to spread my love and positivity to everyone around me. I killed my past self, I’m a different person now.